Mainly I was pleased that D16 opened up so much, I think it was a huge step for her. And not only did she open up, but she was very forthright about how she feels without getting emotional about it. It made me feel that no matter what happens, she's going to be OK and that has been a big concern of mine. I am still concerned for D19 and S10, but this felt like real growth on D16's part.
That said, the content of the discussion didn't change anything for me regarding my perception of W. I've long since quit caring about whether she's having sex or not, the way I see it our M is already dead and she is free to pursue her interests whatever they may be. Do I hope we can reconcile some day? I'm definitely still open to it and I would not hold any sexual activity against her. Neither of us were virgins when we met, but that didn't stop us from falling in love and making a life together. It can happen again.
Unsurprisingly, that sounds very detached of you. Detachment seems to be the goal for so long, but it has its downsides too. I hesitate to mention that because I emphatically promote detaching - I think it's an integral piece of the puzzle for most everyone - but it isn't a state of nirvana. It's just a better/healthier place to be...a fresh start to springboard the rest of one's life off of.
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No, my understanding is that in the "old days" of these boards people could PM each other and often did make arrangements to meet. But that's been disabled and things are quite anonymous now, so I don't think that's really possible anymore except maybe by connecting through FB.
I remember that recently some of the posters met up in the NE somewhere and wasn't sure if that happened with others and elsewhere. You are correct - the increase in anonymity makes it difficult to put real faces with UNs. I would have to say something like: "meet me at the Buffalo Wild Wings at 75 & Spring Creek on Saturday at 5 and I'll buy you a beer", but that's probably against the rules (but not as I read them) and I don't want to go on moderation again so I'm NOT saying that, just in case. (That was just a random example - I don't know if that's an actual place.)
I am glad to hear of your healthy communication level with your daughter. I think getting any teenager to open up to a parent is a "win." To be honest, I think of "D16" and it seems so old/almost grown up for a D, but my oldest isn't that far off. **shivers**
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
To be honest, I think of "D16" and it seems so old/almost grown up for a D, but my oldest isn't that far off. **shivers**
