BF, this woman is definitely a bully, and Joe and his family are known for avoiding conflict at all costs. Joe and I never had a fight--never. I thought he was pretty happy with the way things were bc he never complained--until BD. I wasn't happy w the way he treated me, and I remember first keeping it all inside and then voicing the changes I wanted to see, but he would say he would change his ways and not do anything about it.
He continues the same behavior, bc he told me he's harboring resentment about the way OW treats him but he's not saying anything. Also, he ignores her requests to do something until she blows up (and these are big, big fights.) It wasn't my place to give him advice, so I just listened.
It's interesting how we attract what we put our attention on. Joe's complaint was that I was "too nice," and because I was so nice and thoughtful he felt he had to watch what he did and said to me--apparently he felt guilty if he did or say something hurtful. Guess he didn't think much about that when he had an A, but he said that's the way it was before he strayed. So here he's got this woman who is the complete opposite of "too nice." Also, his goal was to be "free" and "not to answer to anyone." Well, now he's under this woman's complete control. Very interesting.
"Interesting" doesn't begin to describe it! There are so many different psychological dynamics at play with him and your sitch that the adjectives are limitless, you should write a book or something.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
