I seriously don't get why everyone is being so hard on Jon.
I don't think most people are being particularly hard on him, just trying to express to him not to trust his feelings right now. His kneejerk reaction is to say "I'm done, I'm outta here, and I'm glad about it!" But I don't think that's his logic and reason at work, I think it's his feelings. At some level he wants to hurt his W and he thinks this is a way of doing it, of punishing her by denying her his love. And there may be a bit of controlling and manipulating going on too- "this isn't going how I want it to so I'm going to force it to a conclusion on MY timeline." I think most people are saying to just step back and wait for the feelings to clear before making any decisions about what to do.
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He laid a boundary down which everyone encouraged. She broke it, and I may add she broke it badly. And she threatened him again.
If I read his posts correctly, the PA had already taken place BEFORE he told her his boundaries. So that ship had already sailed. It was just 2 days ago (10-28) that he told her what his boundaries were. Here is what he told her:
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2. I will not be in a relationship where another man is involved in any way. Period. Even if the EA was ended, and they're just really good friends, she's going to have to sacrifice that relationship to be with me. It's the one thing I will not negotiate. I really don't care if that's good DBing or not.
So he told her that she would have to (future tense) sacrifice OM to be with him, but gave her no chance to comply with that boundary. He effectively made it retroactive. It's possible that her disclosure to him was her effort to comply, she was admitting to the PA and saying it was wrong and she wants to work on the M. Personally I don't think he's giving her a fair chance to make good on her promise.
