WHEN PATIENCE IS LOST

[Ambivalent]

Thanks you RL

"He is terrified of getting hurt like that from me again, and has led to the feeling of disconnection. He has put a suit of armor on and I will have to slowly gingerly let him know that I accept him, admire him , and find him attractive in all areas

." [/quote]

I have a lot of work to do. I don't always hear what he needs. I have a H that will say something , a word here and there, but I don't know how to translate it. This is such a challenge to me.

I've failed him in so many ways. For example he is still showing his love for me, but I wasn't seeing it:

Before he left he made sure someone did the lawn.
Pays the elec., water, mortg., heat, etc.
Pays for school ( but I do believe it may be so I can get a job )
When I needed new phone, immediately got one
Was there for me, when I had accident

Always returns any correspondence
Doesn't avoid me
Has started to compliment me
Hugs me at times

I thought I had to step back and not show my love until he made a decision. I think I misunderstood what stepping back and acting "as if" means.

When he says the same issues are there or haven't changed, he won't be specific, and I'm stuck guessing...So I guess he wants me to put him first even though he's left.

He has mentioned this regularly.


I'. m so confused as how to handle this in a D.R way.

I'm guessing if I use a 180, it would be to be available to him, whenever he wants?

He wants to be first, ahead of everyone and thing. I need some input here, because where would boundaries be?

Do I just let them go for now? Also I'm curious about those whose H's said they were not attracted to them anymore, yet they did have relations...how did that occur? Did you initiate first or did he?


While vacuuming these things came into my mind today.

"I am not in any hurry to come to a final resolution between us, and most of the issues that caused me to leave remain unchanged."

Most of the issues I would LOVE to know what issues have changed? What ARE the other issues?