Working more on me!

[mishka422]

Oh, I definitely say it. Sometimes I get one back, most of the time his response is, "Why?". I'm not sure if he's fishing for compliments or if he genuinely doesn't understand why. Depending on my mood I may give him a specific reason and if I'm feeling particularly snarky that day my response is, "Heck if I know!"...followed by a laugh and a big smile so he knows I'm kidding.

What does he need from me? I don't have a clue. I keep my eyes and ears open for statements from him of satisfaction or dissatisfaction. Nothing. I have point blank asked him...nope. He doesn't need anything according to him...I call BS. I flat out told him that if he is ever feeling restless or unhappy in our R that he needs to come and talk to me before it festers into what it did before. He agreed but I've heard nothing from him about being unhappy.

I have set a deadline for myself for movement in our R. Next April. We take Marc on his cruise and my birthday is that month. If he hasn't made any kind of movement toward solidifying our R any further by then, I'm going to have to wind up my courage and sit him down for a long talk. UGH! I hate that. I'm not good at it and it always feels like I'm just talking and talking and he sits there and nods and agrees without any input. It makes me crazy! NO matter what we are talking about, this is how it ends up. I talk, he nods. No back and forth.

I'm flying to CA this Saturday to surprise my BFF. She just got a nursing job after passing her state exam. I'm so proud of her and she starts work (for the first time in 13 years) on 11NOV so I'm headed out there to surprise her for a few days. I'm so excited for her! She worked for so long to achieve that goal and she finally did it. I can't even begin to imagine working toward something for that long. I would have quit LONG before that.

Marc had a bit of an emotional breakdown at school yesterday. He had let so many feelings bottle up inside him for so many years and they came flooding out yesterday morning in, of all places, weight training! OMG! He said he managed to get to the coach's office before the floodgates opened but I feel so bad for him. He's a lot like his dad in that respect. He doesn't show his emotions, even in the worst of times. He just holds it in and lets it fester. He broke yesterday thinking about the deaths of my mom and aunt and uncle. My aunt and uncle were like another set of grandparents for him. Couple that with the fact that his girlfriend is moving about 30 minutes from us and he's a total mess.

I will be back in the gym as soon as I get back from CA next Thursday. Until then....I'm slothing it!