My boys have become the great bargaining chip for W as well. Any time she goes on a tirade and spews at me, she reminds me that the boys would stay with her and if I make her leave she would take them. She takes the opportunity to remind me that she has been the one to take them to school and the doctor and taken care of them. She conveniently forgets that I have taken lots of days off for the same reasons. She knows I'll not leave my boys and has become upset that they enjoy being around me as I have dedicated more time to them.
I am smart enough to know the system as well. If I were to initiate separation, the chance of my children coming with me would be very small. Mothers are always given preferential treatment by the courts no matter what their actions are.
Not really any longer. It's always a cr*p shoot with the courts, but very often these days its 50/50 custody unless one or both parents is dangerous or cedes to the other.
No matter what, it's hard on the kids. Look at your W and how it affected her for example....
You have a good handle on things. A good perspective. You have a gift to be able to see things for how they are - so you know it's a matter of time. What you do in that time is up to you, but I think you'll be able to make it worthwhile.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
