I think so many of us are so ready to get on with our lives, and it's hard to understand why their are so many spouses that just don't get it (but in truth I do understand, because I know I didn't get it for a long time). I agree that God does have a plan for us, it's just really hard when he waits so long to let us in on it. Hang in there though, you've been doing so well, and your May C session will be here in no time!
I finally figured out what I feel like--my ex, daughter, and I are what forms a wheelbarrow. when one of the wheels isn't there, the wheelbarrow doesn't work--and I'm that wheel. D called me today and wanted to know if I wanted to go on a bike ride, it was a beautiful day for it, but I just put in a load of laundry in and I couldn't leave it. daughter was disappointed but I told her I just can't drop everything for her and exh on last minute notice. she was upset, because she didn't want to ride with her dad. I told her that if she didn't want to go, tell her father and have him drop her off--well, they never called so I guess hopefully they went on a ride together and enjoyed their time together!
what the hell is wrong with me??? I took today off, I didn't feel well, I had an aniexty attack or something. My ex and I were on the computer trying to find a hotel for july for ocean city maryland because that is where our d's dance competition is. we book a room with two queen beds, one for him and one for me and d. I got home to my apt and had this aneixty attack, but neck felt huge and like I couldn't breathe, I called in sick today and my blood pressure was through the roof! I have high blood pressure, so I have a kit to take it. now please feel free to hit me with the 2 x 4--I went to OM's house crying--I cried all day and he sat and listened to me. then I went picked up my d and brought her to ex's house, he was eating and I hadn't eaten anything and I asked if I could have some, he said sure make yourself a plate and I'm eating outside. well, while he was outside his wallet was on the table and I don't know what came over me, but i snooped and found out that he still has this girl's number and he used to call about a year ago. what is that doing in there???? I feel like such a basketcase. I don't think my wellbutrin is working anymore??
Hang in there though, you've been doing so well, and your May C session will be here in no time! 
