Bro, ok this isn't about beating you up... However; I respect the fact that you have deal breakers I do, but you are still letting your emotions drive you here. You said you are praying for them, that wasn't sincere. Pray 1st Jon for God to forgive you for your transgressions. We ALL fall short. Now i'm not going to try to convince you to do otherwise right now, but this moment can really be used to bring life back to your marriage. Does it hurt to find out? Certainly, but I caution you to NOT let pride and anger dictate you here. Man up! This is it, the day you've been waiting for... Don't miss out on what God can do right at this moment. He can save and heal! Your next steps are critical, if you decide to drop the ego (NOT saying run to her with open arms!!) and truly ask God for guidance you will see it's clear what needs to be done.
If she wants you she will find, but you have to show "tough love" make her do her own work to your heart, while you do your own back to hers. Translation: let go! Truly let go. You still have a lot of behaviors that are childish Jon and at this level of life it's not going to buy you much. Passive aggressive really is not attractive. I pray you see the blessing in the flood, this storm is your test. Don't miss it...
