I am amazed with all the cr*ppola you put up with from your h - MLC is not actually an excuse for, but an explanation of bad behaviour!
It was entirely appropriate for you to lose your rag, and if your h can't see that, it is high time he moved out and learned to stand on his own two feet.
If necessary help him find an apartment, or rat infested cellar or cold garage - whatever he can afford (not what you can afford - this is his party) , be nice to him about it. It is high time that man faced the consequences of his actions and treated you with respect. I have come to learn that if you allow people to walk all over you, some of them will, and even dance.
Remember the song from Chicago 'He had it coming'? Well she had it coming, and a lot more.
Job is right, she is artful conniving and unscrupulous. As far as I am concerned an apology would be wasted on her. And I do not think in any case, any apology is due. If you did apologise she would likely think it was insincere OR your husband had insisted.
Your husband is cake eating, big time. All the comforts of home, the friendship and kindness of a woman who works hard and earns good money, and takes care of a sick husband, and he repays this by cheating on her openly and with complete dis-resepct for her feelings. If you saw any of your friends spouses doing this I think you would be appalled. I am not siding with your 'friends' at work and saying kick him out, but that it is time he either treated you with respect, or moved out. You can remain 'friends' and keep the door open. It will not push him into RTAG's arms, When people can have what they think they want, they often discover they do not want it nearly as much as they thought.
