Well actually I've just been chatting to a friend and I can't afford to remortgage this house. I'll just have to tell H this when he comes round tomorrow. He's expecting me to speak to my mum as well and tell her the sitch, but I'm not going to! He'll just have to wait for any money coming to him, if any! I can always stall him, say I'm going to do it and just not bother
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Yeah I'll check it out Pud I'm going to go and have a word with my bank manager as well. Apparently my friend also told me that they can waive the bank charges if you're struggling to keep up with the repayments
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Whatever you do, don't let him force you to do what you don't want, and what's not best for you and your son. A paid off house is nothing to take lightly! He's the one that chose to leave, so he can deal with it, right?! In the meantime, talk to everyone, and let it all sink in. If your like me, you hear one option and think, "That's it." Then another one, and you think "no, that's it." Take your time and don't make a decision while you're depressed, or stressed, or under pressure from the H. That's my 5 cents on the matter - two cents doesn't get an opinion anymore.
All we can manage on forum is virtual hugs, so here's one ((())).
Thanks for the hug and your 5 cents worth I can't pay him what I can't afford anyway and I'm certainly not going to speak to my mum about it like he wants me too. I could stall him by saying I'll speak to her and then just conveniently forget I'll have to speak to the women's support group today, they'll know what to do I've got a friend coming round later and she's bringing round dinner Then we're off to a murder mystery evening at the Church, always good fun That should help me take my mind off my sitch
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
The benefits check went well, I've nothing to worry about I'm off out now to meet a friend for coffee H was supposed to be coming round to talk about the benefits visit, but I've already texted him to say that everything's ok. Hmm there's really no choice in this, meet a friend for a coffee or wait in for H, lol. Think I'll choose the coffee option, I'll get less grief with my friend
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
That's the idea that I intend to follow NQ, just not bring any of this up at all H needs to grow up and start taking responsibility for his own actions. My friend suggested that if he carries on hassling and threatening me, then I will say that he's owes me back payment on maintenance This will only be as a last resort though I met my friend and we had a lovely catch up I went to do some shopping and H rang me when I was in the supermarket. He said he was round collecting his mail and I said that I'd just popped out to get some shopping. He asked me how it went this morning and I told him everything's ok and there's no need to worry. I told him some things they asked me on a need to know basis Not that there was much to hide anyway, it was just a flying visit really. I had to sign a statement and maybe get a report in a few days time. I don't really know what happens next. For the first time ever I ended the conversation first I'm quite proud of myself
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
My friend suggested that if he carries on hassling and threatening me, then I will say that he's owes me back payment on maintenance This will only be as a last resort though
Funny, that’s how I finally managed to convince my H that he needed to be paying child support. I told him that if he agreed to start paying right away I would waive the three months back payment.
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
I met my friend and we had a lovely catch up I went to do some shopping and H rang me when I was in the supermarket. He said he was round collecting his mail and I said that I'd just popped out to get some shopping. He asked me how it went this morning and I told him everything's ok and there's no need to worry. I told him some things they asked me on a need to know basis Not that there was much to hide anyway, it was just a flying visit really. I had to sign a statement and maybe get a report in a few days time. I don't really know what happens next.
Glad you had a good visit with your friend:). You're right telling only what he needs to know - it's your benefits, not his so it shouldn't concern him now that he's not living there.
Originally Posted By: TryingToDo180
For the first time ever I ended the conversation first I'm quite proud of myself
Well done . Now do that again next time as well.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
