Releasing...

[JayMan]

But what did your W say? Don't be gross. That sounds to me like "sure it happened, but we don't talk about things like that in front of daddy." That to me was more telling than what S5 said.

I went back and realized I left this section out of my re-telling. When S5 said that, I actually got up and started to leave. I reminded her that ONE time I had a conversation with a single girl who was flirty, and I went out of my way to call W and make sure that nothing had been said, I was not interested, and I wanted to make sure no rumors got started. She said to her saying "That's gross" was like saying "There's no way I'd do that".

I told W that S5 would not say that out of the blue, and W said "I have given EA a goodbye hug occasionally, and one time he kissed me on the cheek, and S5 was like 'ooooo'". She was literally standing in my way, begging me to stay at this point.

I dunno. As Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "Where there's smoke, there's fire."

[NTX_Dad]

I was always told to not make any assumptions during my sitch. Many were wrong, but the biggest one was right - my W having a PA.

But really it all doesn't matter at this point, as the next move is the same Jon. DB, I mean "REALLY" DB and go dark if you want to stop the roller coaster and BEGIN your healing/transformation and resolution of your sitch. Each one of these "adventures" you've had resets the clock back to the beginning, and makes the finish line further away to boot.

[JayMan]

Thanks - @gabby and @NTX_Dad. I've had my suspicions for awhile.

Interesting night; I'm honestly WAY happier than I thought I would be. Just 15 minutes ago, W finally admitted to a PA, which I sort of already knew. She said it only happened twice, and she hated herself afterwards.

She told me she already called her attorney and dismissed divorce, because she's so disgusted, she can't stand herself and she wants to prove she wants to be with me.

Well, friends and neighbors, this is a classic case of "too little, too late."

Thanks everyone for standing with me through my crazy rollercoasters; I have learned so much even if it seems I didn't apply it.

I am happy to have this dance over with; I am free!

[JayMan]

I want to be sure that I don't come across as insincere - I wished W blessings and grace. I prayed that God would overwhelm her with His love, and that she would raise her children with OM to be amazing, wonderful, beautiful kids!

I wished her unconditional love, and that she & OM would find a church home to raise those beautiful step-kids...

My plan is to "hover" and cover relationships with prayer and grace as I proceed down my path; I can't thank enough those of you that have given me 2x4s, lovingly encouraged me, I'm sure kept me in thoughts and prayers; I'm eternally grateful.

[Wonka]

She told me she already called her attorney and dismissed divorce, because she's so disgusted, she can't stand herself and she wants to prove she wants to be with me.

Well, friends and neighbors, this is a classic case of "too little, too late."


I am happy to have this dance over with; I am free!

This sounds incredibly selfish, smug and superior to me. I don't know what to make of you and your thought patterns right now.

Is it "too little, too late" because you couldn't be bothered with the hard work of reconciliation and piecing?! Then you have the audacity to pray for W and OM to raise the kids "right"!!??

I'm now seeing a very, very clear pattern here, Jon. When your W attempts to return to the M and try to reconcile, you throw out childish stuff as "signing the dissolution papers now", "I don't even consider a reconciliation until W goes to therapy", "blah blah".

You are chickenshit, Jon, for not even facing the hardest part of DBing: reconciliation/piecing. This is how I view your actions and behaviors tonight after W elected of her own volition to dismiss the D which is VERY courageous of her to do so!!!!!!

[planet]

Aw, man. This s**ks big time.
I'm so sorry this have to happen to you.

I wish you well.

[JayMan]

@Wonka - when she chooses to spread her legs, sorry, a PA is my deal breaker. I wish her ALL the best, sincerely.

@planet - thx.

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Question for you Jon. Was what you saw Sunday one of the times she was physical with OM according to your w?

[JayMan]

No, she said it was a month ago.

[completelylost]

Bro, ok this isn't about beating you up... However; I respect the fact that you have deal breakers I do, but you are still letting your emotions drive you here. You said you are praying for them, that wasn't sincere. Pray 1st Jon for God to forgive you for your transgressions. We ALL fall short. Now i'm not going to try to convince you to do otherwise right now, but this moment can really be used to bring life back to your marriage. Does it hurt to find out? Certainly, but I caution you to NOT let pride and anger dictate you here. Man up! This is it, the day you've been waiting for... Don't miss out on what God can do right at this moment. He can save and heal! Your next steps are critical, if you decide to drop the ego (NOT saying run to her with open arms!!) and truly ask God for guidance you will see it's clear what needs to be done.

If she wants you she will find, but you have to show "tough love" make her do her own work to your heart, while you do your own back to hers. Translation: let go! Truly let go. You still have a lot of behaviors that are childish Jon and at this level of life it's not going to buy you much. Passive aggressive really is not attractive. I pray you see the blessing in the flood, this storm is your test. Don't miss it...