I don't have a problem with H letting my son play video games as well. What I do have a problem with is him letting my son stay up until 1am in the morning! H doesn't go in to say goodnight to my son, he just lets him play til all hours I got this info from my son who came home on Sunday tired and ratty - Again!! My son will still wake up early whatever time he goes to bed. My H will watch a DVD with my son though, which is something It's nice that my son said to me, we'll record X factor on Saturday night and then we can watch it together on Sunday afternoon He didn't want to watch X factor with his Dad! I'm sorry to hear about your kids relationship with their dad These MLCers can be very selfish at times!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Interesting evening - completely unplanned as well. Monday night is Cadet night so it was tinned soup for dinner and out the door within half hour of getting home from work. At least that was the plan.
Just as we were getting ready to go out the door H called. He wanted to know if I wanted to grab some dinner with him while our son is at Cadets. I did say that I'd already eaten and he said "probably not much as I know what Monday dinners are usually like". He also said he wanted to talk so would I please go for coffee while he ate. He sounded desperate to talk so I let him talk me into it.
Picked H up on our way to the Cadet centre, dropped off S13 and found a restaurant nearby. The convo started out with H b**ching about something S13 had said my dad had said - not a great start. I stayed calm and simply said I would handle my dad. He then went on to say he still has feelings for me but that he won't come crawling back with his tail between his legs. I listened, let him do all the talking for now - yes, fighting back tears most of the time. He admitted using the wrong name with OW - oops, seems he called her by my name, and with witnesses at least one . He also said he doesn't know where he'll be in a month or two, that things could change. He said that S13 told him that I had said I would take him back if he wanted to come back, and I simply confirmed it. He wanted to know why when he's been an a$$ especially over the last 6 months to a year. The only thing I could say (and it may have been the wrong thing) is "because I love you and despite everything you've done and said I still do, and that despite trying to hate you I can't". He then went on to say that things would have to change in order for us to work things out. I agreed but neither of us took that any further.
The rest of the convo was about work, our son, his mum and her health scare, his brother and how he'd been caught cheating on his GF, basically anything other than our M. The best thing was the entire time he was making and holding eye contact, and he didn't send a single text the entire time, which means for the first time in a long time it was only the two of us at the table. He even shared his dessert with me, which is something he hasn't done for months.
Overall, it was a nice evening, and it helped to know that he may still actually have some feelings for me locked away inside him. He is still coming over tomorrow night to finish packing but I'm not as stressed about it as I was before. I'm not going to read anything into this as I've no intention of getting back onto his roller coaster. He still has a lot to figure out for himself, but he knows that I will be there for him if he wants me to be.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
He then went on to say he still has feelings for me but that he won't come crawling back with his tail between his legs. I listened, let him do all the talking for now
That's saying a lot (for him). You did good. Good job fighting back the tears!
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He admitted using the wrong name with OW - oops, seems he called her by my name, and with witnesses at least one . He also said he doesn't know where he'll be in a month or two, that things could change.
That's great - him calling OW by wrong name. My W said something similar. I think she said it doesn't mean she knows what she wants to do with the rest of her life. Baby steps!
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He said that S13 told him that I had said I would take him back if he wanted to come back, and I simply confirmed it.
Again, good job on the restraint.
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He wanted to know why when he's been an a$$ especially over the last 6 months to a year.
My W asked me at least 3 times why I don't just hate her. You seem to have done very well, all things considered.
Sounds very promising, but of course the road often has more bumps and some ups and downs up ahead, so watch your expectations, but keep up the good work!
So pleased for you I thought this might happen as mentioned in a previous post Like MH said baby steps now, it'll still be a long road ahead. Don't scare the squirrel
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Thanks MH and TTD . Definitely baby steps - very small, baby steps at that. Knowing H as well as I do, when he turns up to pack tonight it will be a whole different story, but I'm prepared for that and have no intention of letting it get me worked up if he is miserable or nasty.
I have asked my son to only make any complaints or comments he may have about his grandad to me and no one else, not even H. I explained that I'm the one who needs to deal with any problems with my dad so it needs to come to me and me only. He agreed. I made sure he knew he wasn't in trouble for saying something to his dad. I also reminded him that right now we have no choice about where we live but have reassured him that I have no intention of living there forever, that my major goal is to find a better paying job and get the car loan paid off so that I can afford to get our own place.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Hopefully things will go well tonight as well Fingers crossed I'm staying tuned to this channel as well, lol.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Not expecting anything tonight. He's coming over to pack the rest of his stuff. There won't be much conversation as my dad and S13 are both going to be around. I'll just be happy if he's in a good mood.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I got this info from my son who came home on Sunday tired and ratty - Again!! My son will still wake up early whatever time he goes to bed.
It's nice that my son said to me, we'll record X factor on Saturday night and then we can watch it together on Sunday afternoon 
My W said something similar. I think she said it doesn't mean she knows what she wants to do with the rest of her life. Baby steps!