Update for today: I went back to my bed last night with no incident. Strangely enough, W was watching the World Series on TV while she was holed up in her cave, aka the master bedroom. It has become her home for the past 4 months. If me or the boys want to spend any time with her while we are at home, we have to go in there.
The strange thing is, she was watching sports again be herself. She has always complained that me and S12 don't do anything but sports and it drives her crazy that it's all we watch. I can't help but wonder of OM is a Red Sox fan or something stupid like that. I'm sure its not her interest in whether the obstruction call that ended game 3 was the proper interpretation of the rule or not.(Haha)
The similarities are startling. Including her snooping your phone etc. I can tell you that a dear friend I met here, was somebody that I kept in contact with on my phone. Keep in mind my ex was doing almost the exact same things as you describe your W. Almost verbatim and exactly. I'm in the same state, so I'm starting to wonder if you know her... Anyway, she snooped my phone. I'm an IT guy working in the central part of the state. I know how to hide things if I wanted to. Seriously. And I had nothing to hide. But my ex saw that I was talking to a woman (very different than the previous 20 years we had together) and lost it. She blamed me for years accusing me of all kinds of things, including having an affair. I didn't realize she accused me of it for a while because she called me by my shortened name, which I use here. While I never had an affair, she convinced herself I did and in my opinion used that to justify more of her behavior. The truth is I caught her having an affair earlier in the year and I think she was looking for a way to let go of the guilt.
Watching TV by herself? Another possibility is that she is trying to not cheat. She is trying to figure things out. She wants to try new things and watching sports is part of that. She likely does not understand why she did what she did. It doesn't mesh with her outward persona nor her values from what you've described. But she did them. And she needs to understand why or otherwise make some sort of sense of it.
Be careful to not give her a reason to blame you or think you've had an affair or anything like that. Seems this might be a critical time. Try to remember that this is not about you. Logic would indicate if it's not about you, it must be something else right? What that something is, is hard to say. Oddly, I caught an interesting statistic the other day that's relevant. Some marriage counselor was asked if people who cheat are more likely to cheat again. Her answer? Yes. Her reason? Because people who cheat often do so because there is something amiss with themselves; they tend to be unhappy with themselves and blame their spouses.
Who knew?
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Anyway, she snooped my phone. I'm an IT guy working in the central part of the state. I know how to hide things if I wanted to. Seriously. And I had nothing to hide. But my ex saw that I was talking to a woman (very different than the previous 20 years we had together) and lost it. She blamed me for years accusing me of all kinds of things, including having an affair. I didn't realize she accused me of it for a while because she called me by my shortened name, which I use here. While I never had an affair, she convinced herself I did and in my opinion used that to justify more of her behavior. The truth is I caught her having an affair earlier in the year and I think she was looking for a way to let go of the guilt. 
