He is going back and forth with OW too. I think if he would just stop seeing her he could get through this. Any thoughts on that Wonka?
Breaking away from OW/OM is a very difficult and complicated process as it is an addiction like dopamine for the MLCer/WAS. The OW has a role in this too as she is probably trying to pull H back with histrionics, demands and ultimatums when she senses H wanting to pull away. That's a very unhealthy dynamic which is why it is vital to be the steady, stable rock for H to return back home.
You need to present a strong contrast to the OW as a steady and stable person that is loving yet firm. We do all miss the essence of the stander and that is the major reason we return to home because nothing "out there" compares to the spouse at home. MCLers are trying to "fix" their own unhappiness by seeking external distractions such as OWs/OMs, changing their appearances, experimenting in new things, seeking new locations, and other types of adventures.
They're like teenagers flipping the bird at you and telling you guys that "you're not the boss of me!" It'll take a while to get all of the MLC angst out of their system and settle down.
Wait this all out, smile serenely and just do your own thing, Complicated. Easier said than done...I know!
Easier said than done...I know!
