Thanks AJ. I am hoping this will soon be over but I don't think the financial end is going to go smoothly. We received notice from the bank which holds out second mortgage that our program is being discontinued. We will have to refinance. If H wants the house this is his do or die to start to get things in his name only. If he can't refinance the second mortgage in his name only, how in the world can he refi the house? I am guessing he can't. This is going to be interesting. H has gotten himself into a huge financial pickle and now he is screwed. He expected me to take over the second mortgage and now he will have to because I will not qualify to refinance it by myself.
OW is supposedly in a financial crunch as well because she is on disability from her bad back and can't work. Interesting how the kids told me she is looking at buying a new car but can't afford much of anything anymore and doesn't drive.
Things are really heating up for H. I am guessing OW is really putting on the pressure. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy either.
Oh well. He's being nice for the moment. We will see how long it lasts.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
WH, Sounds like there's been quite a bit of activity since the last time I posted to you. Didn't your h want to have everything wrapped up by the end of the year? I think AJ is correct in the fact that the bully finally realized he wasn't going to get what he wanted by acting out, but also, his actions were greatly affecting his wallet, just as they were yours. Maybe he had a wake up call when your son got involved in the heated discussion. One will never know.
If the second mortgage is being discontinued, he doesn't have much time to get a refinance done. If he can't refinance it, both of you will have to come up with the money to pay the loan off. Ms. Karma has a way of showing up at the last minute. He's now got to do something about that mortgage. He can't sit and play stubborn bull any longer.
As for the OW, if she's not driving, why go in debt to purchase a new car? That doesn't make any sense to me...but nothing in the MLC world makes sense to us. I do think she's putting some pressure on him to get things done...but he has no one to blame for this mess but himself.
Sit back and watch that pot boil.
Enjoy your day!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am not sure WHAT the heck is going on in that head of his. But now that we are potentially signing this agreement he has MAJORLY backed off. I mean we are talking total 180.
I will just let it go and let God handle H.
In the situation with the second mortgage, I don't know how I will ever pay my half off. I had to talk to the accountant at the attorney's office (who happens to be his wife) about my balance. She offered me a 15% discount if I could pay the balance off in 10-15 days and after that we will set up a payment plan. They have been so nice. I was telling her about my financial situation and she explained that if H has lots and lots of credit cards maxed out, plus our mortgage, plus our credit card, plus a car payment, plus our second mortgage, that is why I cannot get a credit card. I am screwed. At least for the time being.
Sigh. This too shall pass, right?
In other news S woke up with his eye swollen shut. I am taking him to the doctor today to see what is up. I don't think it's anything serious, but need to make sure just in case.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
So, are H's credit cards things he took out after you guys filed for divorce, or has he been running up cc debt for years?
I'm assuming there's no significant assets (retirement plans etc) to be divided in the divorce?
I'm going to ask you a hard question here - where you you, when this financial mess was being created? Are there things you have learned from this? Because it's going to be SUPER important, going forward, that you learn how to make money and be frugal with your money so that you can get into good financial shape.
I'm not sure that I understand why, if H is keeping the house, you are responsible for half the second mortgage? Was that money spent on credit cards or consumable items? Why not let the house go into foreclosure then? What did you gain out of agreeing to take half that debt?
I'm not trying to freak you out, or blame you for a mess that is probably mostly his making, but pointing out that the choices you make financially going forward are going to be critical. Have you read Dave Ramsey? Also read Your Money or Your Life, and take a look at the Mr. Money Mustache blog. The two of you didn't get into this big financial hole overnight, and it will be essential for you to own your part and work on that issue.
No these are all credit cards H has taken up since we were "separated". Out marital debt consists of the house, our credit card, a car payment and the second mortgage. That's it. I will not be responsible for his debt, but I. The interim it is affecting my credit severely.
H thinks I will be responsible for the second mortgage. I don't know why he has this idea. If he takes the house he takes the second mortgage. Period.
H and S got into it tonight but it didn't involve me. Apparently S wants to work the Haunted house and hang out with his friends this weekend. H came downstairs railing at S. Saying you will obey me, blah blah blah. I asked S later what that was all about? S told me OW was having a Halloween party for the kids and they were going like it or not. S also confided that when it's H's time with the kids he will talk to OW every hour or two on the hour and the kids need to stop what they are doing while H is on the phone with her. It makes me angry because it's wrong. Especially when they have a parent who would drop anything and everything to do things with them.
H came home tonight wearing a beret looking cap. I could hardly believe it when I saw him. I just looked at S and said what the heck is he wearing??? S said I think it's called a "barrette". I couldn't help it. I LOL'd. It is the funniest dam thing I have seen yet!!! Not to mention the pink plaid shirt (which has not made it's appearance since that fateful day).
Oh he's lost it. I could NOT believe he would be caught dead in that thing. Lol! Boy OW's got a grip on him. I don't know how or why, but he's her whipping boy now. Ugh!
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
