@labug - a lot, not all of it necessarily new. I'm an enabler. I try to fill gaps for people instead of allowing them to see the gap and fill it themselves. I am impatient and pushy. I try to control situations by putting together plans/steps to solve. I'm an extremely sensible and logical person, but then I act stupidly from emotion. I've been a fool because I have gotten good advice from the folks on here, and my friends in the alt, and promptly ignored it because I think I can do it myself. I am worried about my step-kids a LOT - this causes me to push on the situation when I should be going dim/dark. I see W going back into depression, sleeping a lot, watching TV non-stop, and I think I can "fix" her by helping her. And that's just getting warmed up!
@Mimi - as I said above I've gotten good advice, and promptly ignored it. Thanks again for your words. After the last few months, I'll probably need a decade of therapy! As far as restraining orders, they say you can't take out loans, you can't "harass" the other person - it's basically a template assigned to every divorce. I shouldn't have said it's a joke, because it is a valid document, but W kind of made it null and void by inviting me over via email, so I have documented proof. Anyway, it's now a boundary for me, and you're right: it should have been from the beginning.
As far as restraining orders, they say you can't take out loans, you can't "harass" the other person - it's basically a template assigned to every divorce. I shouldn't have said it's a joke, because it is a valid document, but W kind of made it null and void by inviting me over via email, so I have documented proof. Anyway, it's now a boundary for me, and you're right: it should have been from the beginning.