It's been a long while since I've posted. I had to take a break for me. My life has changed dramatically in the past month.
I am getting a divorce. My fight for my M is over- dropped the rope completely. Stalmate for far too long. Can't delay my life any more... I want and deserve more. And now I think I am ready.
Two weeks ago my H and I simulatenously agreed to divorce without even really saying the words... it was sad for both of us....really sad. We hugged, held hands for a minute at my son's soccer game and my H said he would always love me.
But, that it was clearly over. He wants to pursue this OW that has been in his life (emotionally) now for 2 years. He loves her and wants to try to have a R with her. WHo knows?
BUt, I do know I'm not waiting around to see how their lives play out while mine is stalled...I am ready for love again.
It is interesting how empty your love tank becomes over time and how your heart really longs for the happiness it is missing. BUt, that you start to realize that your happiness is NOT dependent on your S. Never really was, but because your lives were so entwined you lose a part of who you were..
Then you come here..you go through all the various stages of grief over and over and over... and the people here support you, and give you opinions and 2x4's when needed and scoop you off the pavement when you think you can't even breathe...
Then you get up and you move forward..each day..it gets easier and better...then months past...then a year... then more...
And then you find yourself in this new place and you realize you are going to be okay,,,, in fact you are going to be better than okay...
You have this whole new life waiting for you...and you've found yourself again along the way..
...and you realize that YOU are the ONLY thing that you control...and that your happiness is directly related to how you relate to others and how you perceive yourself and the world around you..
...and then you've arrived onto a new road that is brighter and has unlimited happiness in its path..
So, here I am... I'm not saying I'm fully anywhere, but I know I'm moving and it feels SO MUCH BETTER!
In a nutshell, I've been DBing for over 20 months, am now on the path to D, and I just started dating...and that feels great to me!
LOve to hear from you all! May have to head over to Surviving the Big D to continue my journey! Love to you all! :))
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
I haven’t posted on your thread before but this last post makes me happy on your behalf! Welcome to the other side! Many of us hope that one day we can join you there!
I wish you all the best and hope the future will bring you good and joyful times.
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
All the best to you GTO! 20 months.....you really did fight the good fight and I believe good things will come your way because of it. Keep your PMA going, you're awesome!
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
GTO, I was worried about you. Good to see that you've come to a decision. You might find yourself returning to negative emotions and doubt. Let those emotions be. Lots of love going your way... (((((((((((((())))))))))))))
Hi GTO glad to read your update. You sound positive and rejuvenated. Keep focusing on you and your PMA. I hope your boys are doing well.
Lots of love to you xxx
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
You sound great, and that is half the battle isn't it? Who knows what the future will hold...just commit to make it the best future it can possibly be. Keep moving forward!
You've become the spouse only a fool would leave. Therefore your H = fool. It's simple math really
Originally Posted By: littleGTO
He wants to pursue this OW that has been in his life (emotionally) now for 2 years. He loves her and wants to try to have a R with her.
He's not in love with OW, he's in love with the imaginary version of her he's created in his head. Wait until he discovers she leaves her clothes laying around, or chews with her mouth open, or likes to skip shaving her legs on the weekend, or snores, or makes a loud honking sound when she blows her nose (oh wait, that's my W, LOL!), etc. etc. It's a rude awakening when you discover your perfect EA mate is a not-so-perfect human being that may not have your spouse's "faults" but has a whole new set of their own.
Quote:
It is interesting how empty your love tank becomes over time and how your heart really longs for the happiness it is missing. BUt, that you start to realize that your happiness is NOT dependent on your S. Never really was, but because your lives were so entwined you lose a part of who you were..
Then you come here..you go through all the various stages of grief over and over and over... and the people here support you, and give you opinions and 2x4's when needed and scoop you off the pavement when you think you can't even breathe...
Then you get up and you move forward..each day..it gets easier and better...then months past...then a year... then more...
And then you find yourself in this new place and you realize you are going to be okay,,,, in fact you are going to be better than okay...
You have this whole new life waiting for you...and you've found yourself again along the way..
...and you realize that YOU are the ONLY thing that you control...and that your happiness is directly related to how you relate to others and how you perceive yourself and the world around you..
...and then you've arrived onto a new road that is brighter and has unlimited happiness in its path..
You go girl