And the beat goes on..!

[littleGTO]

Hi, friends!

It's been a long while since I've posted. I had to take a break for me. My life has changed dramatically in the past month.

I am getting a divorce. My fight for my M is over- dropped the rope completely. Stalmate for far too long. Can't delay my life any more... I want and deserve more. And now I think I am ready.

Two weeks ago my H and I simulatenously agreed to divorce without even really saying the words... it was sad for both of us....really sad. We hugged, held hands for a minute at my son's soccer game and my H said he would always love me.

But, that it was clearly over. He wants to pursue this OW that has been in his life (emotionally) now for 2 years. He loves her and wants to try to have a R with her. WHo knows?

BUt, I do know I'm not waiting around to see how their lives play out while mine is stalled...I am ready for love again.

It is interesting how empty your love tank becomes over time and how your heart really longs for the happiness it is missing. BUt, that you start to realize that your happiness is NOT dependent on your S. Never really was, but because your lives were so entwined you lose a part of who you were..

Then you come here..you go through all the various stages of grief over and over and over... and the people here support you, and give you opinions and 2x4's when needed and scoop you off the pavement when you think you can't even breathe...

Then you get up and you move forward..each day..it gets easier and better...then months past...then a year... then more...

And then you find yourself in this new place and you realize you are going to be okay,,,, in fact you are going to be better than okay...

You have this whole new life waiting for you...and you've found yourself again along the way..

...and you realize that YOU are the ONLY thing that you control...and that your happiness is directly related to how you relate to others and how you perceive yourself and the world around you..

...and then you've arrived onto a new road that is brighter and has unlimited happiness in its path..

So, here I am... I'm not saying I'm fully anywhere, but I know I'm moving and it feels SO MUCH BETTER!

In a nutshell, I've been DBing for over 20 months, am now on the path to D, and I just started dating...and that feels great to me!

LOve to hear from you all! May have to head over to Surviving the Big D to continue my journey! Love to you all! :))