I'd say keep your talks about H with others to a minimum...use the forum here to get out your frustrations. That's grest you have a DB coach to talk to as well. Its hard but continue to focus on you and the kids...your 180s, lovingly detach and GAL when you can. My H said the same, that he's " tried everything" etc... typical WAS talk. That's where detaching comes in, so these words dont sting so much.
All the best to you and keep us updated!
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope