wife hardens heart-5

[LuckyLuke]

Can you give an example of the process, please? There may be something hiding in the thicket. Luke

[planet]

Take for example the conversation I tried to have with W last Saturday. I want to have my kids to myself without W and OM in the house. I don't want to be there if OM is there so I planned to take my kids out but D4 wouldn't want to go. As frustrating as this is, my time is my time, I wouldn't want to share it.

I told W I don't want this to happen again the next day.

She just got upset. Adding irrelevant things like she's not to blame if D4 doesn't want to join me. That I get to say what time I want to see my girls. That she can't do anything but wait for me to turn up. Again, I'm selfish for some reason. Just lots of guilt trips and blaming. Nothing makes sense. She just argues. That's her process.

I mean she could have just said ok. She's full on argumentative mode after BD. There are glimpses of such attitude in the past too but nothing like right now.

[PatientMan]

I just find it frustrating talking to her.

So don't. It takes two people to argue.

-PM

[planet]

So don't. It takes two people to argue.

-PM

It's not like i'm looking for trouble.
Things that i need to talk to W are always kids related.

She makes it difficult with her argumentative nature, even more so since she's a WAW.

[MrBond]

"She makes it difficult with her argumentative nature, even more so since she's a WAW."

Then figure out a way that it won't be combative. Try it out for a couple of weeks and if it doesn't work, then try something else.

[planet]

Then figure out a way that it won't be combative. Try it out for a couple of weeks and if it doesn't work, then try something else.

I have done some reading on dealing with someone like W yesterday over the internet. The one way that really sticks is to agree with their argument and that will somehow disarms them because they have nothing to go further on.

[JayMan]

Why does D4 get a say in where/when she goes? If it was my D4, I'd say, "Hush your mouth, and get in your car seat."

[planet]

Why does D4 get a say in where/when she goes? If it was my D4, I'd say, "Hush your mouth, and get in your car seat."

Really!?

[JayMan]

Heck yes. She's four. She can barely decide which crayon to use.let alone make an informed decision.

Good Lord, maybe you all should start with parenting classes?

[planet]

Both W and I don't really force things onto our kids.
They get to decide what they really want.