WHEN PATIENCE IS LOST

[Ambivalent]

Thanks UR and Lois,
thank you to those who have sent some new folks over .

I guess his letter really go to me. I feel as if I'd made no progress and after soon to be six months, it was if I was kicked in the stomach.

I'm so frightened that he'll find someone, he isn't wearing his ring and it telegraphs he is not married. That is so painful to me, it is as if he's saying you no longer count. I have and feel no commitment.

The reason I feel time is running out, is due to the finances. It is miserable enough to have my nest empty, but to have my home ripped away too, is just devastating.

I'm hoping to get into the therapist soon. It will cost out of pocket but hoping to deposit 100.00 every two weeks into my wee savings account. Maybe if I pay cash, she'll give me a discount.

I can always try. I forced myself to go to dance tonight. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. My eyes were bloodshot from crying , but I wear glasses so it may not have been too apparent.

I'm not contacting H. this week, unless he responds to e-mail. Then I'm going to give it 24 hours.

He did open the one with my queries and validations again this morning. At least he keeps opening and reading. Perhaps he's writing a response.

I have my sweet babies next to me in bed, on a chair as well. In a few days , I'll try and think about what to do with the storage facility.

Tomorrow, I'll go to the gymn and my G.P. I have the insurance cards, so no issues there! I cancelled my hair apt, my dogs need shots, so that comes first. Then I have school.

My friend in New Hampshire is really missed right now. I need one of her hugs, they were always so comforting...she has big boobs and squeezes you tight with love.