I Believe it Cause I Feel It

[Whiterose]

Hello Wonka (and job).
Thank you for cheking in Wonka. I'm tired. Not sleeping with my provincial taxes due, mortgage due, bills to pay and no money from H. I want to message him so badly, I won't though, asking when he's going to allow his children to eat?

I haven't heard from my lawyer, and for money costs I'm not going to initiate, but when she contacts me with H's counter offer I'll make sure to add what you've both suggested. H isn't talking to me at all right now. Which is good but makes me nervous too. Make sense? S18's bday is on the 5th. H asked what he wants for his birthday and wants to take him out on the 6th........I want to tell S to ask for the child support so he can eat every other night.......I've bitten my tongue:)

S14 had a melt down at school last week. My nephew, also in the same grade, told my sister that he had a meltdown in homework club after a teacher said he needed to complete his assignment. I've messaged his GLC (each grade has a teacher rep, like a union rep, an adult that would attend any major reprimand or conflict and be on the side of the child) to set up a team meeting of his teachers and counsellor, if possible, so that I can go in and discuss strategies to ensure this doesn't happen again and to make them aware of his fragility. Also, met with. Y family dr and we're going to get him assessed to see if he's ADHD, anxiety, if his separation anxiety has evolved due to all of this. Bring him to see the dr tomorrow to start the ball rolling.

I mentioned to the dr that H had emergency gallbladder surgery. He knew as he'd received the file. The office had called him in but they were ignored he said. I told him some of the stuff he's been saying and doing, he's known us for 20 years, and said he's snapped. He's just not right he said. I told him how I had asked he boys to help me pick the furniture and he said it was a sound idea and that he supported my decision. Also, told him, now after S14 came home after his first counselling session and told me he loved me and that he trusted me to always be there for him. He said that was fantastic. Said that I'm his soft place to land and have his back. I said I feel like I'm not doing enough, that I'm not enough, and he said I'm doing great. Children need at least one person and I'm his one and he's going to be ok. Made me cry. Teenage boys need their dad and I just feel like I don't add up. It was nice to hear though.

Went and got my teeth cleaned today, need to replace a filling, not urgent but will need to do it before h cuts me off medical, although I'm going to be asking to stay on his plan as part of my settlement. He pays for the boys and it's no more money to have me on as it's a family rate.

Huge event next weekend will keep me crazy busy next week....it's work:)