Hi still surprised I am here. We have been together 14 years married 10. We live apart during the week since April as he took a new job and we owned a house and I had a work contrct until next July. He really wanted to keep the house, I did not want to move to the area where his new job is so we decided he would commute weekends. I was going to go up to him alternate weekend s but he said that made no sense as he wanted to work in the garden. 5 weeks ago he started Sunday morning with I feel aimless and goalless and last year I had my suicide planned but it didn't work. We talked a little, he said there was nothing else to say. The following weekend was I don't know how I feel about you, the third weekend was I don't feel anything and I started seeing someone else 2 weeks ago (I found that quite hard to believe) Then he did not come last weekend because he wanted to go out. He arrived yesterday, we talked I suggested I move over and we begin to make some changes. H e said no then I asked what he wanted then. He doesn't know. I told him I had been reading about the negative effects of divorce and how it could be avoided. So he took my Divorce Busters book a couple of articles I printed and went home, again a day early He seems quite clueless about what he wants. I said it will be hard to look after the house when he doesn't come down. He was quite surprised and said he wil be back in 2 weeks. I asked had he thought a divorce would look or a separation and he said no. He is unusually irritable and angry. He thinks back on events and they are all negative. I saw my family doctor and a counsellor and they both said he sounds depressed. He says he is not, he is fine. And not visiting any counsellor. I am usually well organised but this last 5 weeks has left me flailing around with no clue where to go next. I have read stories on here that are way more complicated but I have no idea where this ine will end. Actually tonight I am sort of glad he has gone. We were supposed to have a week away but cancelled it because of a business trip. I am glad about that too. I am wondering can you work on a marriage when someone is depressed or do you just join them in that sad dark place. I don't want to give up but having lost 10 kilos in 4 weeks I also don't want to lose my mind as well. I don't want to divorce or separate but feel like I am locked in some weird verbal battle with a stranger, where the same things get said and enhanced each time.
