Your wife had lost her feelings for you when you finally decided that YOU wanted kids. I'm sure at that point she was no longer sure you were the man she wanted to start a family with. In reading your story, it seems as if your marriage approach has been to satisfy your needs as they came up, while putting her desires on the back burner. Does a person like this sound like someone you'd start a family with?
I don't point this out to be an a@@, just to point out what may be escaping you right now. Re-read your posts. You sat around for 15 months waiting for her to ask for the millionth time to have a child with her? Really? Your communication together is lacking to say the least. The last thing I would have advised you to do after you moved out was to cut down your communication with your wife as you did. Good communication stands out to me as one of the biggest hurdles you two need to overcome. You need POSITIVE interactions with her now more than ever.
In your other post, you wrote that she says you scare her. Why would she say that? What was the context? It sounds as though if you don't get your way, you essentially bully her into your way of lookingmatbthings, rather than you trying to see things from HER perspective. Perhaps in making your "points", you are very forceful and thus scary to her?
Take some time tonight to list what your wife's most important emotional need are, and which ones you can start meeting (pssst! Put good conversation on that list!). Next, make a list of the bad behaviors you have gotten into the habit of displaying in your marriage (for most of us guys, correcting our wives and showing anger top that lost). Resolve to make every attempt to meet her needs, while eliminating your bad behaviors, on every interaction with your wife going forward.
Your wife needs hope. Hope that you can be a man that will love her, and that can show her future child love. You have to slowly fill her up with that hope by being the man she thought she was marrying twelve years ago.
