Moving ahead: W and I had one short conversation yesterday evening. She insisted that EA was just a friend, he was going to replace the struts on her car, and he works a lot so Sunday morning is the only time he has available. She said when I stopped by he had only been there 20 minutes. I think she's lying, but of course, I didn't actually catch them in the sack, so I just said, "Whatever".
So here's what I told her:
1. Our families will have zero "in-person" interaction while a restraining order is in place. It was ridiculous behavior. I will communicate only with email for important stuff, and perhaps phone for something quick, but I will follow it up with a confirmation email, and I won't act on it until she confirms the email so I have it in writing.
2. I will not be in a relationship where another man is involved in any way. Period. Even if the EA was ended, and they're just really good friends, she's going to have to sacrifice that relationship to be with me. It's the one thing I will not negotiate. I really don't care if that's good DBing or not.
The following items I didn't tell her, but are for me:
3. Zero contact whatsoever outside of absolute necessities
------------------------------ Positives: upon the discovery, I was messed up for a few minutes, but put a smile on my face. I took the kids later to watch some football, and helped my neighbor unload some stuff for his basement remodel. In ye oldene days, I would've been messed up for a week, yelled at W, ranted about EA, etc, etc. Because I was still laughing about the Santa Clause resemblance, my interaction was light and funny. We did email a couple times as I recapped above, but the only interaction today has been about the insurance changes. I am only concerned about the insurance changes because they would fall under the restraining order.
However, after that, zero need for contact. Hurrah!
