Unlearning conflict avoidance - 8

[PatientMan]

I wonder what the guys say is a good response when W ignores you.

I think it's an exercise in futility. We're on the 8th version of "Unlearning conflict avoidance" - and there are threads prior to that with the same topic - and he still either

1) has no clue how to avoid conflict with his W, or
2) simply won't do it.

Those are the only two possibilities I can fathom.

My guess is he is scared of his W and he is stalling so he can avoid conflict - that would simply fit in with his behavior pattern. If that's the case then it's up to him to choose to change, and no amount of advice is going to help until he commits to it.

Why he would be scared of his wife is beyond me, but it's likely habitual behavior that he realizes needs to be "unlearned" given the thread titles. Perhaps once he realizes there is nothing to be scared of, he will be able to think clearly in situations where conflicts arise. Once healthy boundaries are established, fewer conflicts will arise entirely. And that's great! That's the healthy way to avoid conflicts...with healthy, mutually respectful boundaries.

I wonder what LL's W is going to do if he works on resetting boundaries. I don't recall him saying she was an unstable gun enthusiast, an ill-tempered ex-Israeli militant, or the daughter of a mob boss. What's there to be scared of?

-PM