PM - ...We'll see if W gives me another chance to react to being put down (what do I do when W ignores me if I ask a question? Perhaps it depends on the details?)
I can think of several ways to handle a situations like those, but you've already been given advice multiple times by multiple posters here on what to do so I don't really see the need to keep beating the same dead horse. It's time to stop asking others what to do and start thinking for yourself about what YOU will do. What the YOU you want to become would do.
Stand firm. Be courageous. Be strong. Act like a man.
Act like a man and you will be treated like a man. Do everything out of love, which INCLUDES setting healthy boundaries of how you allow yourself to be treated. It includes setting these boundaries as examples for your children, who their father is, who their mother is, how a marriage is supposed to operate, and how adults are supposed to conduct themselves.
How are you missing that there couldn't be anything more important than correcting the way you allow yourself to be treated? Stop dancing around the issue with question after question and get to action!
For cripes sake, LL, if you won't do it for yourself, do it for your kids! I KNOW you love your children! Do you want your daughter to think it's okay and normal to treat her future husband like you've been treated? Do you want your son to think it's okay and normal to be treated like you've been treated? By not correcting this issue, what kind of example are you setting for them? What is your inaction and submissiveness teaching them?
I follow your sitch, and I feel like I'm watching you dance around this issue day after day after day. You want to read a book. You want to go to a group. You want to talk about GAL'ing. Those are all paper-cut problems on one of your arms while your other arm is completely broken. If I'm a doctor and you're asking for my help, I don't care about your paper-cuts right now. You need to fix your broken arm first.
So what are you going to do? Keep reaching for the Neosporin? Or do you want to reset that broken arm? I'll help you with your arm, but YOU'RE the one that has to do the work. It may hurt a little bit at first, but I PROMISE you that you'll feel better once it's done.
Let me know what you choose.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
