Hey 3BM- I don't believe I've commented to you before or even read your whole thread but your name jumped out at me cause I have 3 boys as well.
From your last couple posts it seems like you have the majority of your focus on your H and how what he says or does affects you, both in a good and bad way.
As long as that is the case your going to feel like a puppet going back and forth depending on what your H does or doesn't do or what type of mood he is in or what type of sandwich he ate for lunch.
I've been there, detachment is quite difficult. Breaking co-dependency dynamics is also quite difficult.
Its a long road and a gradual process.
Its ok to enjoy the good times when he is around if you'd like and its also ok to grieve or be sad.
However, I think you need to be the one creating whatever emotions you would like to create instead of your H having so much influence over them.
