My s17 rarely goes to my stbx's and doesn't see her much. Like your older ones, he hates to talk about the sitch so I don't discuss it unless their is something I really feel he needs to know.
I don't want to influence their relationship and it can be tough to balance supporting and encouraging it when she doesn't make that much effort (IMO). I'm hopeful their relationship can improve but its out of my hands.
