One giant leap forward! - Part 8

[Fartiltre]

I think one sticking point is I think she needs to do a lot of work on herself but she thinks she is fine.

She does! I have read so many times in here that a major issue in piecing is that the LBS have done the work when it start and the WAS has to start doing the work.
Your W has pulled this so many times now! Distancer/pursuer – keep your distance for now!

I have no idea how I could guide her.

I do not know if this is against DBing – properly is so remember that I am still a newbie.

Instead of just telling her that it will be a mountain to climb try asking her a question.

Says that this time it's different. I said what’s different now than August, May, February and last October. All them other times she didn't want it like she wants it now. She never had it in her to follow through like she does now.

Did she clarify on this one?
Could you get her to do that – not necessarily in front of you, but in her mind?
Ask her to be specific about what will be different this time? Not feelings – but actions.

Tell her that:
talk is cheap!
you don’t trust her words but that actions might change that in time
she needs to look at herself

…she how she responds.


You told me to give my WAW a crumb now and then – I suggest you do the same now! Not by giving her family time but by giving her a little knowledge, by making her curious to WTF happened to her late husband – how did he transform, why and how. As I recall you have had this convo with her approx. the same time you faced your fear about roller-coaster (IRL) You told her about IC and so on.
Could you at some point refer to that convo and simply tell her that you have continued working you and that you haven’t seen any change in her – that she is going in circles.

I know you are not supposed to argue with a WAW but this is not supposed to be an argument – just you stating your honest opinion.

Just thinking out loud – I don’t know if this makes any sense – hopefully Sandi will look by and advice!

Oh, and I still think you should keep on living your life: GAL, date – it all!


F