Oh Nero, you are stronger than you think, smarter than you realize, more loved than you believe! Your positive outlook is so endearing to me. I guess the two of us suffer from terminal Pollyannism. It makes me sad that Bea sees it as a negative trait, but, like you, I can't help it. I can just picture myself using up my last breath to gasp "I'm sure H will get over EA # 956 any time now, and then he'll love me again, I'll just continue to stand another month or two"
It troubles me greatly that, knowing this optimistic outlook of yours, you say you don't look forward to the holidays or even acknowledge them. Is this the woman who already had black cats, pumpkins and spiders tucked into every nook and cranny last month? It sounds like you're in a serious funk.
I hope that being able to rest assured that your mom is well cared for without being on 24 hour call will help you. Let someone else worry about her dentures. Working at the school will help too. And putting that stoopid fat cow OW right out of your mind.
I agree with uRw, you don't actually know whether anything you imagine going on between H and the cow is true or not. My H told me that I think about his tramp OW a lot more than he does. And that a lot (most?) of the things he says to her are not true. Just like a lot of what uR thought was going on was not at all what was happening.
Being attached to your H your entire adult life is a good thing Nero, and there's no reason to envision life without him now. Don't even go there!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
