imalright: I know ex is using "family" in get things started in the direction of reconciling. Yeah he is a great father. He has started staying home more instead of always over his parents house, now all I hear is all the fighting that is going on with his family. I don't know how much he is willing to change. The next availabe appt for a couple's counseling is in May--guess alot of couples are in need of help LOL. So until then I will wait. I am going to be 40 yrs old, and probably been in a MLC since I was 30. Ex commented how hard it is to date when you have kids and that it would be easier for everyone all the way around if we got back together. What is up with that? Just because it's easy, doesn't mean it should be. I hope he is willing to change like let me pay $3 for a pair of panty hose without blowing a gasket and telling me how I spend too much money. The sex department is going to need to change--alot of work there. He told me he is sorry that he is just a "mr. plain jane" but that is how he is. OM is not in AA, he was years ago and says that he knows how to quite and has been doing well for a month. If my husband never entered my life and I met OM, I would marry him. Except for his smoking cigars. He is caring, sensitive, romantic, great in bed, cares about what I want to do, always wants to be with me. He has never had children so he doesn't know how to act around my daughter, but all in all he is a good man. EX is also a good man and I did make a commitment to God, the commitment was broken, it's time to repair but I am finding it hard to let go of OM, I told him I don't want to see him. I am not the I'm calling the police or get a restraining order type of person. I actually never broke up with anyone before. I know I am co-indepdent. I was seeing a counselor put stopped. I have been thinking about the past how he built or should I say he built our new home and he picked out everything. I walk through the house now and think thank God I don't live here becasue I hate the colors of the walls and Polish articles or everywhere! I know I'm being childish, maybe I'm scared. Heck, maybe I should write other man a good bye letter, suck it up, go to counseling, I'm going to be 40 nobody wants to date a woman with baggage, go back to ex-h and start your life over, though I'll always have to be on my guard to make sure that I do everything right so that I don't get booted out again. I realize I miss the security of marriage, my old life playing the loving wife and mother, having dinner ready when husband got home, making lunches, etc....
