Sleeper, I am sorry that you continue to have such problems. I don't come on here often but you and I were always kind of posting about the same sort of stuff.
Your X has flouted your agreement in many ways and your D has closed the property part of things long ago. I don't think you should feel bad about the situation but the kids....well, that's hard to know. What I can say is that kids are smart and as time goes by they will see, more and more, who is the stable one.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D