WHEN PATIENCE IS LOST

[Ambivalent]

As a kid, he may have had to take on more responsibility than he was ready for and his coping skills didn't reach maturity, most likely he had to fake it to make it while growing up. In other words, he grew up too fast and the emotional well being didn't catch up.

This is too where I would place the stunting. He was a teen, second born male and more responsible than his older brother, by nine months. To this day, he is still the father figure to his youngest brother.

As for coping skills. Hit right on the head of the nail. None, stuffs it and tries to combat it by himself. If he doesn't that is where the pattern of run awaaaaay comes into play.

As for him wanting to resolve, I believe this is true. I believe he's torn between wanting to connect with someone and have meaningful sex, and not wanting to start something that will create more demands on his time, money , and commitment.

I'm a reminder of what I know about him. The person that knows his mistakes or bad choices. I do know this. What kills ME is the fact that I never used it against him in an argument or even now.

So it is painful when One can soothe another but will not let them. I know this is about being a man. Masculinity and the fear of being or looking vulnerable. I know he does not want my disapproval , this is why he cannot look me in the eyes when dealing with this.

He almost left a note the night he left. Told me so, and then mustered the courage to phone me...stay on the phone for 45 mins. and then face me at home.

" I could be very wrong, but I don't think your h wants the marriage to end. I think he's one of those who just needs some time by himself to figure things out. "

I hope and pray you are right, and if you are I have learned a valuable lesson, LET IT BE !

I probably won't hear from him that soon. He takes forever, writing editing and writing again.

It is another way to control and I don't have the ability to just pretend it doesn't matter. Presently I have a huge knot in my stomach, hopefully it won't be there forever.

As for knee jerk, YUP that IS me! I was doing very well there for awhile ... Hence the current title.

What a painful lesson. Really chapped eyes? Who gets chapped eyes?

Geez!