You've got some good support from job and the other posters. I know it's hard to be anticipating this email. You can think about the 48 hour rule. Don't think of responding till then -- it gives the ideas some time to settle in and you some time to think.
My H told me two days ago his philosophy of life. I thought it was crazy. But I didn't say so -- just validated. Then yesterday he told me I really have some mixed up ways of thinking.
You see, he doesn't have everything figured out yet...it's just that he was ready to come back home.
There are so many issues we all have from childhood but for some people they become a crisis. I had been hoping that since my H was home he was now a mature man. And he is in a lot of ways. But I think to work through dysfunction it takes many years, many tears, and a lot of work.
We must be there to validate, yet work on our own issues and move along with our own growth.
It's so wonderful you treated him like a king during your M. You were grateful for the life he provided, didn't nag, gave him space, etc. I'm sure he still loves and appreciates you, he just needs a lot of space right now.
Hang in there, Thinking of you, rH
P.S. the comment you made about his pic with the straw hat resonated with me. For some reason at the beginning of replay my H had lots of pics with different kinds of hats. Including straw hats! Then he grew the facial hair. After he came back home that all stopped. But I saw many pics of him with hats, drink in hand with a cocky/sly look on his face. Yes, it hurts so bad b/c that's not the man we knew. But they're trying on some different hats/faces wondering who they really are. It's just especially hard to watch b/c they aren't a child anymore and we love them so much!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
