Newbies introduce yourself /moderation notes

[nit84]

Hi, I am truly a newbie. I hope I didnt wait too long to join this forum. I have been married to my W for 12 years and together for 15 years. I am 12 years older than my wife. Our marriage has been very good at times and very bad at times just like everybody. She left me in June 2012 for only two weeks. She came back because she said she didnt think she worked hard enough on the marriage. Fast foward to 5 months ago. I asked my W to start a family. She seemed somewhat surprised because she has been wanting children for about 10 years now and I kept putting it off. I know this was very selfish and stupid of me. We talked about kids before we married and knew we both wanted them. Honestly I have wanted to start a family for about 3 years now I just couldnt come right out and tell her fearing her reaction after waiting so long. I started dropping hints in hopes she would catch on and ask me if I was ready. No such luck. There are other problems in the marriage but I feel that they are manageable. This problem with babies in the at root of a lot of them I believe. 2 months after finally asking her about children we separated. It has now been 4 months and she is talking divorce. We have talked a few times about the M. She says she doesnt love me anymore and doesnt want to be married to me right now but she would like nothing better than to go out to dinner with me and just talk and have a good time then maybe in a couple years if we are meant to we will get back together but we have to get all this over with first meaning the D. I have been in solo MC since right after the split. I asked two times if she would go either with me or alone and she declined. I started GAL before I even knew what it was. I have read DR twice now and have tried different things I think I have some baby steps forward because she says thing like" your telling me what I want to hear but I wish you have said it way sooner" but then when I show confidence or something doesnt go her way she says things like" I am very uncomfortable around you" or " I am afraid of you". Which makes me feel awful. I have tried NC and this seems to work sometimes because she then will initiate contact. I love my wife very much I want to start a family with her she just needs to meet me halfway. She has told me she she sees changes in me but it is too late. My feeling is that she is mad because she never thought I would fight so hard to save our marriage and this is conflicting her. I am just worried that her pride will keep her from taking that leap of faith to trust me again and she feels the need to see the D through for that reason. Any advice is greatly appreciated.