boy- do i ever know what the heck yhou guys are saying with the darn "detachment dance" -
i swear- some days i just withdraw mentally from any and all "strategy" from sheer exhaustion.
it's insane for sure- how we maintain our lives in this mess of a mlc existence and then, supposedly "do' all the right things all the time too- idk.
i agree tho, that in some way we need to maintain attachment because that's what the heck we're doing here dbing- trying somehow to "stand" and be an obvious good choice in life- be what we always were- what we ARE...
IT'S mighty hard to be our wonderful old selves - while being someone else. the duplicity of it all is a killer for me- stopping me from being me-
i'm a stinking old nurturer- carerer- etc. i get it - it's bad dbing sometimes... -
restraining myself is stressful- sometimes i don't bother, mostly i'm trying to remain "neutral" i haven't uttered the word love in so long my heart is shirveling up in there.
idk how we manage to restrict our hearts and stay normal too-=
goptta to- need to hand out drinks to runners this morning- volunteering should be fun
anyway- it's a heavy pertinent topic-
back later. i'm with you guys tho- i struggle dailly, momentarily- alllll the time about this-
it's what i'm trying to detach from- having srategy instead of just being me. it's the killer i think- overthinking- trying too hard to be alllllll something else-
here's me - fighting to stay me while stepping over to the side- i don't think i'm makin sense. like trying to live a double life- hard as heck for an honest old who-i-am kindaperson, trying hard to trust the process- flaking off this morning tho.....
