I read that thread. You see you describe my childhood, not his. His mother loved him, and the other four. When his father left, eventually he came to pick up some stuff.
My H. was the one sent out to the car to deliver his stuff. Out of all the kids, he was the only one to be able to tell his father off, what he thought about the whole thing.
He actually acted out as a teen, partied, etc. The family pulled together and became very tight. They are still pretty much today.
If anything he was the black sheep for saying and doing what was on his mind. He didn't hold back.
One of the reasons I married him, was because he was already balding in his twenties, he was stable with a job, more mature than those his age. I figured he wouldn't go through this crisis as my father did!
We are both from divorces, both fathers cheated and had major MLC's.
He will never be able to discuss this with his parents. His father just passed away at the beginning of this year. His mom died in '94 in her early fifties. That was a very tough time.
So closure in that area will NEVER be possible. The only hope I have is that his love for family will prevail. He loves his family, is extremely needful of the unit and what it entails.
Way more than I. My family was very dysfunctional, before it was cool. I flinched until thirty, I was hit in the face so much. Couldn't speak my mind without fear of being backhanded.
I thought I had a huge nose and needed a nose job until my late twenties. My nose is NOT big , and considered small.
My mom had me convinced I was fat...again wasn't. My ribs could be counted until my first child, even then I was thin.
If anyone was ripe for this...it was me! Yet here we are, torn asunder!
Again, nothing can be done. I just feel so abandoned, tossed. This is such an unnatural state of being.
It is humiliating, embarrassing, and excruciating.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
