Nice day yesterday.. we spend the day together as a family. Then after the kids were in bed we made a dinner of Pad Thai from scratch. When we were eating dinner he mentioned something his therapist had told him about sitting across from each other at the dinner table is a good way to feel more connected to a romantic partner, with body language. So he moved and sat across from me! haha. A little gesture but it made me feel special. Now whenever I see him sitting there I can't help but smile a little
When I look back over all that has happened in a year, it is crazy to me how different things are. We went from being distant/resentful to each other, to having the NILILWY BD, then doing counseling, and then 'limbo' where H was very distant, moody, and silent, to separating, and now reconciling.
It still doesn't make such sense to me. How can he go through so many changes over the course of a year?? I have sat back and watched it all. I am hoping that our life will gradually become more regulated and we will find a good balance.
The weekend was great. He is reaching out to me now, like he used to do when we first started dating. In fact, it feels the same way as it did back then, with excitement and nervousness.
I feel like we connected over the weekend, and I saw a more vulnerable side of him that he often doesn't share with me. Also, since having our talk about reconciling, I feel more safe in sharing details of my life with him without being judged or undermined. I guess we are both reaching out to each other now, and feel more safe in doing so.
I would like to just take a blind leap of faith, but I am still somewhat reserved, due to the craziness of the past year. Baby steps for now, marathon not a sprint!
Thanks DB buddies! -cp
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
