I was doing SO well, and I just set off a land mine.
I lost a lot of points, showed him his pimp picture in an email along with his "interests". Told him I can't keep doing this , him living the way he is and me over here , to just get it over with and file.
Can you spell S T U P I D ? Give him space. Let him think.
He is working things out . I let myself feel sorry for him, and then WHAM ...see his stupid self in a straw hat smiling at whomever is taking the picture.
Did I react and HOW? WHYYYYY? Because I felt sorry for him, he was alone, feeling lonely, missing us....yeah riiiiight.
Where do I go now? What damage have I done? What damage has he done to us?
Why won't he give me a f'ing break? I was always forgiving in our marriage. I never EVER through things in his face. I didn't nag. I didn't harp continuously about his need to be with " the boys ". I thanked him for our wonderful home. I gave appreciation for things provided and given. When he looked nice, I told him.
Why am I still caring ? Why after all that I've been through over the years with him, do I still want? Why can't I just move the he!! on? What is wrong with me? Am I so scaaaary that he has to run away? What is it within himself that he runs from everything? His wife, jobs, bills, family?
I'm going to the gymn and I don't want to. I hate working out, it really [censored] lollipops.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
