I'm thinking about you and hoping that your dad's surgery goes well today. Post an update for us when you can.
You should go with what you know that won't set you back. It takes a long time for us to get to where we're not obsessing and constantly thinking about the poor fools. Whatever you do, make certain that you think of your own well being first.
As for whether he's playing you, Idk. This could be his way of reaching out to you in the only way he knows how to right now. Does your friend understand mlc behavior?
If he truly is trying to reconnect, he will contact you again. Don't worry about not responding once or twice. In a normal relationship with a clear thinking friend it would seem rude not to respond but with a mlcer, in the big picture, it doesn't matter as much. Does he have any contact with friends that you had in common? Is it possible that he knows about your dad's surgeries? He would understand that you're busy with other things if he does know.
Take care my night hawk friend. Wishing the best for you.
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
Thinking of you and your father today. I hope the surgery is a success and he can return home in a few days.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you so much for the caring wishes and support!
Dad came out as grumpy as ever which is a good sign! The surgeon was quite happy but time will tell. Now the fun begins as he is supposed to stay off his leg for at least a week. Harhar. I would have to sit on him.
Wss catching up with everyone and didn't leave too much time to post - but will update later!
Thanks again, your caring means a great deal to me.
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Again, thank you all for your well wishes. So nice to come here and see them!
Just a little update on the sitch:
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You are wise...if you aren't sure what to do, do nothing. Sit quietly, the answers will come. I know people get tired of me saying this, but it's very true because when you drop the rope, things begin to happen.
This is so true....and strange at the same time. Ex-boyfriends normally do not tend to hang around, especially when it was their decision to leave. I have not done anything in a long time, expect respond when he initiates contact. And that is all done by text. I wrote on Bright's thread that I am not investing in this...er.. (honestly, is there even a word anymore?)...relationship.
If he is still with GF, the only way that even bothers me now is if he is still with her an trying to contact me. Again, which is why I answer until I do not feel like answering any more.
Don't get me wrong, I am still not completely detached. But I have let go...and now the contacts are getting more frequent.
On Friday (while I was busy at Hospital), I received a text from him. He could not have known about the surgery - no one in his circle knows. I have not kept in contact with many of our mutual friends as it seems they all knew about GF in some capacity but not one of them told me or apparently, stuck up for me. Just accepted her. They were more his friends in any event. My good friends are where I live, so that makes sense.
I didn't answer until Sunday. Monday, he responded with two texts back. All about the cars, so apparently we are not done with that topic yet. No personal details. He will throw out hope all is well. I simply do not respond to that bit.
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I didn't contact H when my dad needed surgery, although his dad had surgery at the same time and I did contact him to let him know I was praying, and he said nothing to me.
WR, I think that is what I did not need. Perhaps that is having negative expectations but I didn't want to make trouble for me. he completely ignored me the last time I went through this and I did not trust that he would come through this time. So, I made the decision not to tell him.
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What do you mean when you say you think your SO is playing you? I think my H is playing a dangerous game, pretending to love the trsmp. Is that what you mean?
Rosa, I think when I refer to "playing", I meant that he contacts me just to see what my reaction would be or whether or not I will answer and not necessarily because he wants to contact me to make amends or steps towards amends. A power game, really. I don't worry so much about what he id doing with GF, but I know that I want no part of him if he is carrying on a relationship still and still trying to contact me. I am NOT competing. And if he thinks I am, he is dead wrong. The trouble is, I really don't know if he is contacting me for nefarious reasons or if he wants to try to get back in my life.
And see, if I was totally detached, it may not matter. But it does. Ignoring the horror of the last year, we still have an uncanny ability to connect on the same wavelength. The same stupid sense of humour. I am still surprised every time I receive a text from him. There is a part of me that knows I can keep the conversation going just by responding, but another part of me that does not want to get sucked in again. If he is aware of all of that, he is playing me.
Your H is also playing you in a different way - how far will you let him go before kicking his ass to the curb?
Bea is certain he is playing me:
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As to your SO. Probably playing you - I think all MLCers are manipulative and devious. Being straightforward seems to go off the agenda.
NLT takes a more positive view:
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As for whether he's playing you, Idk. This could be his way of reaching out to you in the only way he knows how to right now.
As Job would say, I am sure the answer will reveal itself in time. Or, I will have to ask if he is with GF because at this point, I can say goodbye if she is in the picture. He does not get to have me "on the side".
Bea, I am curious. You said:
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If he wants to reconnect he will find a way.
How else is he going to reconnect if not by texting me? We're too far apart to visit.
In any event, I have not responded to the two texts yet. Don't know if I will. So many other things to do!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
The surgeon was quite happy but time will tell. Now the fun begins as he is supposed to stay off his leg for at least a week. Harhar. I would have to sit on him.