My WAW story

[JRG]

So I finally made the decision to proceed with D. I contacted my W earlier this month and we've gotten together a few times to decide how to split things up. It's been going well. We've already decided on everything and started the paperwork. We're not involving lawyers but rather working through it on our own. My wife made the comment "Isn't it nice that we're not paying lawyers just to make us hate each other". I'm grateful for that!

I feel somewhat relieved having made the decision which I've been struggling with for a few months now. It nice to know exactly how everything is going to turn out. Seeing her again and thinking about the finality of our M did bring back some emotions for me though, unsurprisingly. Overall though I feel good about the situation and I'm becoming more accepting and even excited about my future life and future relationships.

I learned some things about my W too. She said that every time she seriously started thinking about proceeding with the D that she became too emotional and overwhelmed. That's why she never filed. And at one point she was thinking about coming back. She said that the first 3 months after moving out she was a wreck. She went out window shopping almost every night just to get out of her apartment and away from thinking about our situation. And this whole time, whenever we did have some sort of communication, she hid this emotion from me. For all I knew she was living it up in her new environment! It turned out to be completely opposite. I think this whole thing has been harder on her, the WAS, than me, the LBS, ironically.

I've learned so much about myself, life, and relationships through this whole ordeal. It's been a great life lesson even though it's been the hardest thing, by far, that I've ever experienced. I'm confident that my life is going to become what I want it to be. I sometimes wonder if I ever would have "grown" without experiencing this. Most likely, not. In that regard it may have been a needed experience...needed so that I could become the better person that I feel I'm morphing into.