Today I called my wife for no particular reason other than just to call. As usual, she was cold, distanced and made me feel like she really didn't want to talk to me with the way her tone was. That said, I makes me think that she is not really ready to commit and who can blame her. She has her own issues she is dealing with plus she has an OM to confide and comfort in.
That said, I am thinking about writing her a letter expressing how I feel. At this point, I feel like divorce really is the best option. While I am opened to reconciliation, I do not want to live like this anymore. It would be one thing if she would throw a bone and show some inclination towards progress, but it is more of the same with her. I have one more semester left in college and I want start fresh in 2014. This year has been the worse year of my life and I need to move on. I really do want to save this marriage, but I have to recognize what the reality is - she hates me, is ashame of me and will probably never trust me again. Why continue to fight a losing battle.
That said, I do feel like I owe it to her to tell her how I feel. I don't want to just send her divorce papers without giving her an opportunity to talk about it or know ahead of time.
