I really wish that I could go a month without seeing H. I feel so much stronger when I don't see him. The minute he walked back in the door after his business trip, my heart melted and all I wanted to do was hug him. Of course I restrained myself and went about like business as usual. But man, I totally love him and miss him. He has worked so hard on improving his interactions and relationship with the kids. I find myself thinking "will it ever be my turn." I know that the answer is that I may never get a turn.
The good thing is that I was able to process these feelings without spinning out of control like I would have done a few weeks ago. I just need to keep focusing on the baby steps. Another week of positive interactions even if it was just as co-parents.
I made sure to have a jam packed weekend with lots of fun activities. Hopefully it will be a nice start to another positive week.
