nothing going on here - been chatting with my neice in dc - she's 30 & contemplating a move across country-
made a funny little comment about it would be "pressing reset" on their lives (her and her so). funny little modern concept.
i sure wish i could think of anything in the universe that would "reset" my life and somehow "fix" it. wouldn't it be a lovely concept-??? one big old "do-over". if only - huh????
reality being what it is - working daily on just accepting what life is at the moment and trying (FURIOUSLY) TO NOT just accept blame & guilt for what my life is now - and not even think there is some quick "fix" lurking out there available to me - other than "waiting it out".
i do wonder tho- about the whole "run away" thing - it could be possible to just change every darn thing and "begin over" somewhere. i don't actually believe it will heal anything inside me - it's just some notion that flits in and out of my mind that sounds really really good some days.
i usually end up telling self it will be allllll the same "problems" in a new place-
ya know what? this is me going down some stupid trail of thinking and then probably over-thinking same old junk.
i'm gonna say "it is what it is" for the moment and go right away from here.
if my outlook & tolerance in life is not broadened and my patience broadened and my pain/discomfort-endurance is not broadened by all this - then i am amazed and not human at all.
i am feeling waaaaaay "enlarged" by this sitch- inside it's painful - on a broader level it's hugely awakening - what the heck this "broadened person" does with herself is still a mystery to me -
hoping in the fullness of time it allllll becomes apparent. oh yeah- me sitting quietly awaiting "wisdom" to alight on my noggin (hopefully not in the form of a falling piano - but who does know?) huh???
idk- im outta here before i depress myself. it's a pretty day ;and i need to plant those roses before they get croaked & rake a bit & dig out stuff to sell at a flea market tomorrow - put away the junk i dug out yesterdaY AND CLUTTERED up with and get going.
i wonder (*catholic mother) if really it's all nothing more than something like - if you've had a life that you felt was really great - somehow you have to "pay" for it with some misery-type life? i am soooo nutty and indulge in such wacky notions- even as i say it out loud- i wonder what the heck goes on in the background of this brain- and then i think about people (i know) that never ever talk about thoughts & feelings - and how wacked out things must get inside their heads - and seem perfectly normal and logical as long as they remain in there- unsaid- unheard. oh well huh:
i have no idea why i'm seeing something below saying "preview" of what i'm typing now- but i'm ignoring it- and getting off.
anyone here - have a wonderful day - devoid of any heavy "thoughts & worries" - i'm going to go pull the plug and drain away anything not "flower" "sunshine" chillie pretty autumn day- get productive, tink a good thought, appreciate what YOU HAVE rather than strss over what you have not- etc.
