just wrote you some big old (most probaly booooring) "note" here and totally lost it somehow - this darn laptop- my fingers will never get usEd to having to perch above keyboard and never touch sides or bottom or whatever the heck it is that i whammed it away with.
GOOD NEWS FOR YOU THO- I'LL BE brief and say im thinking of you like mad and hope you're okay- doing okay- and your h's new "phase" isn't making you or him too crazy. I wouldn't include his welfare if it didn't impact you sooooooo very much. i'm hoping both of you are in a better place???
i keep getting struck with the notion (like any good american) that somehow "winning a lottery" would change or fix something (everything) - and then realizing (of course) it wouldn't change or fix a darn thing. money seems soooooo important all the time to everyone - but it isn't usally the answer to anyhthing really (other than paying the bills). as far as life & heart it's powerless. AND then i get the notion i should "run away" and "change everything" - like, again, something i can do would impact all this and somehow change or fix it- like in a hurry. you know- allllllll those drug companies telling me daily that by taking a pill i can "fix" all my ills, it's a national mentality. i REALLY WOULD love some Instant gratification please. i am amazed i "buy into" it as much as i must do-. those little thoughts that pop into one's head- and then immediately my brain has to reply - yeah- if only it WERE THAT EASY - HUH? WOULDN'T LIFE BE GREAT . too darn many tv shows with happy endings -
one has to wonder about our societal outlook in life- totally sit-com oriented and overly "sentimental" or something. just sayin.....
take care- thinking of you- sending up little prayers - hoping somehow it all matters....
