Since my last outburst I was asked by my DW to leave the house, so my attorney wrote a letter saying that I was voluntarily doing it so she did not disrupt the kids.
Coincidentally, one of our dogs died yesterday and she asked me to come take the body to the vet. I'm abbreviating that part of the story, because it's sad and not part of the discussion. I stuck around, had dinner, put my daughter to bed, and left around 10:15.
Today, I took my first step towards continuing on the divorce. I met with a realtor (A very attractive Los Angeles 10 who is 26 years old) found a place, and I am making an offer tomorrow. DW has to pay me out to keep the house so she is going to put up the cash for my 20% downpayment, which is half of my payout.
I'm actually very excited about moving out and getting my own place that I own -- a nice 3 story townhome with a two car garage. Can't beat that in LA. What's funny is that I am finally emotionally over her. I mean, I want to have sex with her, but I am actually not that interested in reconciling.
She is still digging her heels in and dead set on the divorce. I'm going to enjoy living in my new home. If she and I reconcile, we can even move into it, since it's close to Hollywood, etc, and bigger than our 4br. But if she doesn't want to reconcile, I'll be fine too. I'm going to live in my own home where I make my own rules. Odds are we will not reconcile, but I think the DBing actually has helped me with the emotional separation.
We are getting along and making much more smalltalk now, but she was very hurt by me for months by my spying, so I understand. The divorce is transactional. It's punishment. Of course, once she sees the finality of all of this, this tough-as-nails woman may have a change of heart. Hope it's not too late for her.
