Sorry, didn't do the 48 hour wait for this. Didn't think it was necessary as no emotion (for me) came from the email.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
2old, I know the movie and even remember that scene, but still "donk" doesn't come to me, unless that was the characters name?
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
HWA, I always forget to do the 48 hour wait apart from the last time of course! You're right, in this case it didn't matter. You email sounded really good What puzzles me is that she is talking about this money when the solicitor hasn't even contacted you yet. Looking on the positive, could it be a ploy from her to break the n/c? Like I said, just me looking on the bright side, being a pollyanna
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
TTD180, yes talking about the money puzzles me also (not as much as it would have weeks ago). I think she is feeling like she has to rush now, especially since I am moving away in 7 weeks. I won't be doing anything unless it is through the solicitor. I am not dealing with any solicitor on my behalf, until papers have to be signed. You never know, it could be a ploy to break n/c. Simply doesn't affect me either way anymore.
F, she could be short in the finances. Though I doubt it. She hasn't had to pay any bills for the last year, is sharing accommodation with the friend, and hasn't to my knowledge gone on a big holiday. Not to mention if she did her tax (didn't do it at the same time as me), she would be getting about $16k back. And yes, she will get about $23k from the split of assets. Also simply didn't feel I needed to wait the 48hours (did think what you would say) as I didn't need to control any of my emotions. Also the email came from her work, so she may not see it until Monday anyway. But I do accept, that the 48 hour reply should be consistent, rather than going by emotions.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
I get you about the 48 and no harm done at all! Just let this sink in and become a part of you - emotions or not!
IMHO only one thing to do and that's absolutely nothing! Leave it be for now and continue as nothing happened! One thing is certain - more will happen.
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
You are absolutely right F. The only difference now, and it has only hit in the last few days, is I simply don't have the care about what happens now. I mean that in a nice way only. Maybe it is how detachment makes you feel, who knows. But since I decided to stop feeling guilty over things in the past, and hit the anniversary of BD, it just doesn't matter. I won't be doing anything, it is all up to the W. It seems that possibly it all matters to her. Me, it doesn't matter, I am moving home in 7 weeks, I will be moving into our/my house and I will be seeing my sons and friends on a close to daily basis. I am a better person, have more PMA than I did, and can see my future as being good (whatever happens). I simply feel so much better. It feels like nothing can get me down now.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Does detachment comes easier when you don't have to meet your W for a long period of time? I suppose that you don't know what's going on in her life and her yours, makes it simpler to detach.
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
Thanks F, never thought I would hit this place. Just shows that time does help. But really it was the acceptance of no more guilt that seemed to have done it. To simply feel proud that I haven't forced any issues with regards to separating, splitting of assets, arguing/fighting or if it happens divorce. I have tried many different ways to help the marriage, some good, some bad, I did my best to what I knew. I haven't given up on the W, just accepted it is now her journey, simple as that. I have my own journey now.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
What puzzles me is that she is talking about this money when the solicitor hasn't even contacted you yet. Looking on the positive, could it be a ploy from her to break the n/c? Like I said, just me looking on the bright side, being a pollyanna