Time and Tide

[Raine]

I'm FY's first friend. Woohoo!! What's my prize?

[ForeverYoung]

I'm FY's first friend. Woohoo!! What's my prize?

Sorry, one prize per DB member. You already won the dancing robot in the party thread.

On second thought, I just might have a special prize for you...

[uRworthy]

Sorry, FY, dont know what happened there. I sent you a friend request. Lets see if that works.

I want a prize, please. I dont know what for. I just like a good prize.

[Cadet]

I'm FY's first friend. Woohoo!! What's my prize?

A gold STAR from me!

[Wonka]

Will you settle for a stuffed Bill the Cat toy as a prize from the MLC Carnival, Raine??! In bringing the toy home, you can have him snuggle between you and your H in the MBR as you two slowly reconnect.

[Raine]

I'd rather have a Fozzie Bear. Get it? Wonka, Wonka, Wonka!
Now that could make for some fun and interesting connections.

[ForeverYoung]

IC advice needed.

I met with an IC last night, it was our first appointment together. I told her all about my sitch (ongoing loveless limbo nearing 2 years, neither of us making any moves to initiate D) and where I stand. (flip / flopping between standing or ending the M)

I got the feeling she felt I was fighting a losing battle and needed to face the reality that it’s over… but then she also pointed out (by asking me questions) that the present M is “working out for us as is” for the moment.

I felt comfortable enough to schedule another appointment to see her in two weeks. Mainly because I know many of you feel you receive great benefit working with an IC.

I also know that we have to find a good match for us, and I’m on the fence with this one. Near the end of our session, I learned that her and her H are both on their second M, with two kids each from their previous M's. (and an new joint acquisition baby on the way) This kinda made me wonder if she could objectively help someone who is willing to stand... maybe for years. It seems to me that maybe I'd be better off with someone who’s M stood the test of time? Is this a valid concern?

So my question is how do you determine if an IC is not the right one for you? Does it sometimes take more than one visit? I don't want to jump around, but I don't want to waste time either.

W comes home from her vacation trip with my Lil Sis tonight... Update to follow.

[job]

FY,
I would go for a second session and after that one, you should know whether she is the "one" for you. I don't particularly care for the feeling you got from her vibes about fighting a losing battle.

We use to have conversations on here many years ago about IC's and the words that come to my mind when searching for an IC is "solution based".

Give her one more chance and if your gut instinct is still telling that she thinks you are fighting a losing battle, I would drop her.

Just my two cents.

[uRworthy]

Hey FY, I agree with Job. Maybe one more session. But I say, follow your gut. Took me three tries before I found the one for me and she changed my life.

Dont give up. It is important that you have someone to talk to who is can be objective but also supportive.

[reachingHigher]

I'll be looking forward to the vacation update.

I LOVED the story you shared on my thread. Hilarious! You will always be Forever Young, I think!

About IC's. I told you the one I see now and also use for MC was also telling me it was "over" last fall; yet, she is a very good MC, and quite good as IC, too.

The first IC I saw was awful. I shared on here how bad he was, and I knew it the first session. I actually felt he was interested in me vicariously, sort of.

So...I like you're going to try another session with the one you just saw, that you may see if she works for you.

My current IC is not supportive of this forum, yet, I do like her personally, and she has helped me with a lot of issues. She is also on second M with blended family. Maybe a lot of them go into IC b/c they have their own issues.

I felt it was most important to me to be with someone I really liked, and felt comfortable opening up with. And that was more important to me than if her philosophy was the same. She also has suggested good activities and books.

I know you will decide what is best for you, and hopefully for you and W eventually.