I met with an IC last night, it was our first appointment together. I told her all about my sitch (ongoing loveless limbo nearing 2 years, neither of us making any moves to initiate D) and where I stand. (flip / flopping between standing or ending the M)
I got the feeling she felt I was fighting a losing battle and needed to face the reality that it’s over… but then she also pointed out (by asking me questions) that the present M is “working out for us as is” for the moment.
I felt comfortable enough to schedule another appointment to see her in two weeks. Mainly because I know many of you feel you receive great benefit working with an IC.
I also know that we have to find a good match for us, and I’m on the fence with this one. Near the end of our session, I learned that her and her H are both on their second M, with two kids each from their previous M's. (and an new joint acquisition baby on the way) This kinda made me wonder if she could objectively help someone who is willing to stand... maybe for years. It seems to me that maybe I'd be better off with someone who’s M stood the test of time? Is this a valid concern?
So my question is how do you determine if an IC is not the right one for you? Does it sometimes take more than one visit? I don't want to jump around, but I don't want to waste time either.
W comes home from her vacation trip with my Lil Sis tonight... Update to follow.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
